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The Counselor's Corner Blog

“Effective therapists do not attempt to fit their clients into a particular theoretical model; instead, they try to learn from them and in effect, gradually develop a uniquely personal psychological theory for each individual.” -Robert Firestone, PhD

2/14/2022 0 Comments

To Do The Work, We Must Get The Work

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There is a Japanese artform called Kintsugi in which broken pieces of pottery are put back together with precious metals like gold or silver. This makes the brokenness fully seen, even illuminated and ultimately honored in this new state. Many practice therapy much like a Kintsugi artist. We witness the brokenness with our patients and use the precious tools of therapy and compassion to help heal or illuminate the brokenness and wounds of the patient.
 
But what happens when a therapist feels broken or wounded? In our culture we have become the “experts” in mental health and are expected to be able to “be neutral” to our own inner demons. I have heard more than once in my career and trainings that “good” therapists leave their baggage outside the door of the therapy room.
 
And yet, to be fully present, the therapist’s “baggage” can get triggered. So, who heals the healers? Where do we find the Kintsugi artist who can help put the pieces back together with precious resources?
 
To become a better therapist, one needs to connect to their own feelings, the comfortable AND uncomfortable ones. We need to be able to genuinely and authentically connect and empathize to the patient’s emotions. Doing the work while getting the work can lead a therapist to find balance and wisdom.
 
Compassion fatigue has become a popular phrase among caregivers to let colleagues know they “need a break”. I observed after their “break” a colleague would come back looking refreshed, but within a short period of time I would notice behaviors such as being late for appointments, overreacting to common situations and complaining about sleeping, eating of general health. Helping oneself is seldom a one-shot deal!
 
Gabor Mate stated at a symposium I was attending that there was no such thing as compassion fatigue. No one gets tired of being compassionate, it is a vital part of our nature, and we don’t get tired of being ourselves. We get tired of NOT being ourselves. But to truly be ourselves takes a commitment to our own personal process, our own therapy, so we are able to fill our brokenness with precious illuminating resources including self-compassion.
 
  TO DO THIS WORK, ONE MUST GET THIS WORK FOR THEMSELVES.
 
This is a mantra I use when working with therapists and other caregivers. We ask our patients to engage in self-care through therapy and we need to also heed the call for therapy when we are feeling burned out, stuck, or triggered in our work.
 
And like the broken piece of pottery, our patients will notice the beauty of our repair work without having to know how the damage happened, and they can garner hope for their healing journey.

 
To end, I would like to share this:

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1/9/2022 0 Comments

Looking for a Counselor or Psychotherapist: What is the Difference and How to Choose a Therapist

Lauri J. Rowe, M.A., LPC, LMT
Professional Psychotherapy Services, Marshall, MI
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“Counseling” and “psychotherapy” are often used interchangeably when talking about options for mental health care. They have many similarities, but there are some important differences. While most therapists may provide both counseling and psychotherapy, it is generally known that providing psychotherapy requires more skill than simple counseling.

Counseling is where two people work together to solve a problem, this often involves advise giving. In the context of mental health, “counseling” is used to denote a relatively brief treatment focusing primarily on behavior. It often targets a particular symptom or problematic situation and offers suggestions or advise for working with it.

Psychotherapy is generally a longer-term treatment focusing on gaining insights into chronic emotional issues or problems. It looks at the thought processes, perhaps influenced by past events that could be causing problems in the present. In other words, psychotherapy addresses the root cause and core issues of current problems potentially bringing about lasting change and where personal growth may occur.

Therapy is a very fluid process in that counseling often includes some psychotherapy and psychotherapy often includes some counseling.

Both counseling and psychotherapy develop a healing, safe, and therapeutic relationship between a therapist and an individual with proven effectiveness for a wide range of people. Both can lead to an understanding of feelings and behaviors and address issues with the goal of improving a person’s mental health.

Choosing a therapist can sometimes come down to personal preferences, access, or insurance coverage. Know this; the level of trust you have in your therapist plays the most important role as to whether the therapy works for you and what you need. Therapy, be that counseling or psychotherapy, is dependent on the therapeutic relationship. It is the relationship between the therapist and the client that creates the environment for mental and emotional healing to happen.

Use your knowledge and intuition when choosing a therapist – and monitor your heart for healing.

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11/17/2021 0 Comments

Tapestry Weaving: Loss, Grief, and the Holidays

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Just after Halloween there is the celebration of All Saints Day, also known as All Souls Day. And in some Mexican traditions there is the celebration of Dia de Las Muertos, or the Day of the Dead.
 
Especially during this pandemic time, it struck me how in America we seem to start our holiday season with holidays celebrating and remembering those souls who have passed on.
 
For those of us who have lost a loved one, this time of year is rather poignant in our journey with grief. Grief, in general, is an isolating experience.  Yet the holidays tend to focus on connecting loved ones.
 
Remember Love does not end with death,  and those of us left here to grieve will continue to weave the tapestry of our lives.
 
The holidays give us an opportunity to change what we weave in our tapestry from this time forward.
 
During this time, remember to give your grief some dedicated time. This could be in the form of being in nature, taking a walk, or writing a letter to your loved one to archive in a book of memories. And don’t forget to bring your loved one into the holiday gatherings through storytelling and noticing how those around you carry on the legacy of the loved one no longer there.
 
Over time you will notice that you will feel more Love than pain. The coming holiday season is just one season in the many seasons of our lives. And losing your loved one was one of the hardest seasons you endured.
 
Give the holidays a chance to heal you. And whomever you choose to share this time with – allow that community to gift you with their support and love.
 
Thank you to David Kessler for this inspiration.

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10/17/2021 0 Comments

Practice Description

Individual Clients
Over my 35+ years in the field, I have been searching for what modality of therapy will best serve those seeking mental health services.
What I have found, and psychotherapeutic research has proved, is the therapist is the key change ingredient in most successful therapy.  Therapy can provide a space where a person is listened, felt and experienced at such a concentrated level of sharing with emphasis on every aspect of communication.

I believe the qualities of an ideal therapist is one who can listen intensely, be nonjudgmental, ego subordinate and unconditionally present.  The therapist demonstrates and models how to struggle against seemingly destructive personality habits and how to live more open and less defensively.

 The therapist presenting as an authentic person that clients can feel comfortable enough with to be open and self-revealing will be key to an optimal therapeutic relationship.
 
                       “Effective therapists do not attempt to fit their clients into a particular theoretical model; instead, they try to learn from
                        them and in effect, gradually develop a uniquely personal psychological theory for each individual.” -Robert Firestone, PhD


In other words, the client is the “expert” concerning their lives.  This expertise may be unconscious.  Through therapy with an open and self-aware therapist, the process becomes a journey of helping the client, within the therapeutic relationship, to be more conscious, therefore empowered to pursue a healthier lifestyle.  This requires a therapist to interact in the relationship not only intellectually, but also intuitively.
This also requires the therapist to be committed to their ongoing mental health introspection known as deep internal work of their own.  To be able to “do the work” the therapist must “get the work”.

New Therapist Supervision & Experienced Therapist Consultation
I am expanding my practice to include supervision services for new therapists and consultations for more experienced therapists.  By exploring our own inner processes, we can be more present to our clients.  My emphasis in this work focuses on aspects of the therapeutic relationship where the therapist may be questioning and reviewing their own self-care commitment.
I use elements of somatoemotional release, psychodynamic and feminist psychotherapies to help inform the work that is done, but primarily the client is the therapy and present moment focus is always in the forefront of the therapeutic process.
 
Work Experiences
  • Supervision of LLPC and other counseling therapists
  • Private Practice Contractor and Consultant through Professional Psychotherapy Services LLC
  • Clinical Director at an Inpatient Psychiatric Hospital
  • Intake Coordinator for a hospital based Psychiatric Treatment Unit
  • Somatoemotional Release Therapist and Educator
           » Upledger Institute
           » Integrative Intentions
           » Russian Doctor Exchange Program
           » Private Practice
  • Psychosocial Evaluation Consultant – Hospital based Substance Abuse Inpatient Unit
  • University Counseling Center Therapist – Individual and Group Therapy
  • In House Supervisor for Residential Program for Pregnant Teens
  • Community Mental Health Services
           » Individual and Group Therapist
           » Inservice Educator
  • State Hospital Behavioral Therapist for Chronic Developmentally Disabled Population
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    Author

    Hello!  I'm Lauri Rowe.  I'm a fully Licensed Professional Counselor in Michigan.  I bring to you over 35 years of experience in  working with individuals and groups concerning a variety of mental health issues. I provide individualized counseling that meets you where you are and helps move you toward where you want to be.

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